Crushed.

I sit here as I think. I’m just thinking of my life the confusion of not understanding who I truly am or who I can truly ask questions about these silly little things that linger within my head. I lean back as I sip on this shitty coffee with the powder creamer that’s just floating at the edges of my cup. I push myself forward and a little too hard when the coffee just spattered all over my desk, and now to the floor. I stare at the mess, I just stare and I blanked out.
The clear clean glass suddenly shattered forming spider-webs and the metal that’s crushing against my bony arms and legs are making me feel lifeless. I can’t move an inch all I can do is watch what is happening around me. The shatter is getting wider and it reminded me of when I was a little girl I ran across the lake during the winter and as I stood in the middle I heard the ice crack, felt like my simple world was about to fall apart. But nothing in the world could be louder than my parents yelling my name and in that instance I sprinted to them.
This time in this situation I have no one I am completely helpless to myself and useless to everyone. I can now feel the pressure on my chest and I can feel my head turning blue as I lose tasteless air that suddenly felt so amazing. The glass shattered all over my body, and now I can stare up at the sky as the beautiful twinkle, twinkle little fiery stars laugh as I am being crushed to death. And I look at the reflection from the sky-roof and I see myself dying with blood tracing all around my face, down to my neck, and down to my lifeless still body. The taste of blood in my mouth is choking me and breathing just isn’t easy anymore, I am actually struggling with the simplest thing a human can do. I am pathetic, a pathetic simpleton.
I stare back up at the clear skies that are full of stars that are mocking me, I’m suddenly so jealous of the endless sky that roams so freely. Meanwhile I’m being crushed in here with my reflection facing directly at me, as if the universe wants to send me a pun. Finally the stars seem closer to me as if they want to get a closer look at my bloody body, but I just don’t care because I can’t do anything.
On my last breath and I have nothing to say because I’m taking my words and my thoughts to my grave. For I have nothing to share with this world, not in this life…